Its been like forever since I blogged and honestly its been half-assed cos I don't feel motivated to blog unless inspiration hits me. So here I am again with significant changes in my life. I have decided to part from Justin, after 5.5 years of being together, and not without much uncertainty and reluctance. Something inside me, i feel, has changed. He is a better man than before, but just when it appears that happy ever after is within reach, I experienced a catalyst, of sorts.

And perhaps, in that single moment, I realized that I really need a chance to experience life, liberated and renewed. One that I never allowed myself before and I now thirst for. I'm kinda scared but I would never know if I don't.

A little something I wrote in tribute. To the "whisper" that disappeared all too quick:

Tobacco kisses

Yes It’s a lie and I know it’s true,
I tried to pretend but had my eyes on you,
from the first glance and first hello,
it seemed like I knew you from my soul.

Started off as friends, cheeky sweet nothings,
then my heart betrayed, I felt stirrings,
Tried to deny the feelings but it wouldn’t go,
thoughts of you deeply rooted within me so.

Tobacco kisses, you’re sweet and bitter,
I wish I could stay with you forever,
I wish you’d just make up your mind,
But I know I’ll just be the girl standing behind.

On a holiday and a simple visit to you,
spiraled into more, and knew I was screwed,
just one flaming kiss and my heart’s on fire,
your sweltering touches has gone me deep under.

I’d like to think it’s more than friends,
Beautiful mind, face but ruthless intent,
You’re a player of hearts, I know it’s true,
yet somehow I’d still give my all to you.

Tobacco kisses, you’re such a tease
I thought I had it under control to say the least,
you’re sometimes hot, and sometimes cold
I’m tired of wondering which way to go.

So I’m closing this little chapter in my mind,
still dreaming but thanking you for the ride,
Its doomed to never work from the start,
So I guess it’s finally time we should part.

Tobacco kisses, tender lips full of promise
But before it starts, it already finished
and without even saying goodbye,
Just tobacco kisses to remember you by.

~~~